Journey Updates
March 23, 2010 @ 04:03 pm
I had a lot going on. I was busy. Traveling. On vacation. Nothing interesting to say. In a creative slump. Lots of client work. Bla bla bla. All true reasons for my month+ long absence from my little home away from home, but alas, I hang my head in shame and beg forgiveness from the blogging gods. Whatever. I'm writing an update.
Now over the last few years when I disappear from my blog it's because I've fallen off the wagon. All the excuses above are really just me trying to cover up the fact that I wussed out and gave up. Add on top of that my history with the Six Week Threshold - basically at about week 6 or 7 I
always fall off the wagon. Always. I get tired, I don't see the progress I want, I get distracted by shiny objects and ice cream sandwiches, who knows. It just happens that way. Well, this time around, the fact that I wasn't blogging really was because I was busy -
I didn't fall off the wagon, and I didn't give up. Oh sure I had my gaps and lapses, but let's review.
The Fourth Great Attempt: Week 6
Actually I was still blogging in Week 6. Week 6 is when I announced my new MyJeansFit.Me project. By the end of Week 6 I weighed in at 297 pounds - which is still on a plateau but since I royally bombed Week 5's fitness efforts while traveling, I saw it as reclaiming any ground lost while on the road. I may be at a plateau but at least I'm not creeping upwards - it's like a new set point for me. 10 Pounds down, 100 to go. But I'm 10 pounds down. This was the last time I weighed in for the following 5 weeks or so.
The Fourth Great Attempt: Week 7
So in Week 5 I traveled. I promised myself I would eat right and exercise while I the road; that I wouldn't fall into the traps of ordering too much room service and raiding the mini bar and drinking at the real bar until I couldn't see straight. I broke that promise big time, but Week 7 was my chance at vindication. Whereas I was only gone for a few days in Week 5, I was stuck in Dallas for all of Week 7.
I wasn't perfect. I drank a lot of red wine on some days. I didn't eat as well as I could have. But I consider the week a success. I went to the gym at the hotel ... and oh what a gym it was. I worked out really hard, actually, and it felt great! I ate breakfast every day like I ought. Traveling is always hard on the fitness routine because the food is rich and the time is limited, but I'm proud of myself ... it was the first time I've traveled and felt like my behavior patterns were really altered.
The Fourth Great Attempt: Week 8 & 9
So following my vacation I didn't give up. I kept going to the gym - I was working it into my daily routine. I was doing well. I was happy. Some of my food habits are faltering at this point but the fact that I'm pressing forward and pressing
hard at the gym gives me the confidence to break through the Six Week Threshold, and I do. I travel again at the end of Week 8 - two very intensive days running a workshop in Washington DC. I don't eat as well as I should, and I don't make it to the fitness room, but it really was a super busy couple of days and some stuff was going on back in NY that I had to deal with emotionally. So I forgive myself and straightened out and got back on course the next day.
Week 9 was supposed to be a marathon. Vacation was coming and I thought I was going to have a bunch of projects to have to wrap before I left. It turned out to be pretty laid back, actually. I stuck with the gym. I ate well enough. I did good. I did not weigh myself. Between two big travels and not feeling like I was doing well, I decided not to spoil what little momentum I was having with a bad weigh in. It's not about the number anyway. I want the behavioral change. So I don't weigh in. Vacation started Friday of Week 9.
The Fourth Great Attempt: Week 10 - Vacation week!
It has been ages since we took time off let alone a vacation. We cashed in some miles and points and stuff and headed off to Sunny Hot Florida. So it was cloudy and windy a lot, it was still supremely perfect. I wasn't totally confident, but I did feel okay sunning shirtless for small bits of time. I got a ton of reading done. We walked around parks for whole days and my feet didn't tire. It was wonderful.
I had planned to keep working out while on vacation, but that was kind of a bust. Frankly, the fitness room at the resort was uninspiring. And far away. I forgive myself the trespass :) Since it was a condo resort we did go grocery shopping and I still cooked most of our meals, which maintained some measure of healthy habits.
The Return I've come back and ready to get moving and grooving. I feel good, I feel refreshed. While we were getting ready to depart Florida I made an offhanded comment that either "this shirt is getting stretched out or it's getting bigger." The Beau laughed at me and said "or you're getting smaller, dummy." Well that's what I meant, but the point was I don't feel fat and bloated.
I may not have been blogging. I may not have been sticking super close to my goals and behaviors, but I pressed through the 6 Week Barrier and am still on the journey, now in its third month!
1 comment | Topics: The Beau, encouragement, evalutation, food and eating, shirtlessness, travel
Journey Updates
February 14, 2010 @ 03:56 pm
This week kinda sucked. The whole "not-going-to-let-travel-screw-me-up" thing was a bust. I didn't make it to the gym at the hotel. I drank way too much. Ate too much. Ate the wrong things. It generally was a busy, high-stress, not-good experience. I didn't really enjoy the trip or the project - things were just not going right - and now I have to go back. On the plus side I could have gotten stranded there this whole weekend. But now it's uncertain when I'm going to have to return and it's generally just annoying.
Oh well. I should get back on the horse and take this one positive day at a time. But I think I'm just enjoying my weekend home with The Beau and not worrying too much about anything else. Plus I tripped while I was on-site at the client and sprained both ankles and pulled my thigh muscle. So I feel a little like a mess. But tomorrow I'll get back into the gym and get back to my routine and all will be right with the world.
I don't know if i"m ever going to lose weight. My weigh-in on Tuesday - a day early because I was flying out of town that day - was the same weight as the week previous. This week I'm certain my weight will be higher again - maybe even above 300. But that's okay. This coming week, in addition to work and working out and eating right and all that good stuff, I'm going to try to spend some time working on this whole meditation and emotional healing thing. I'll probably update and blog a little about that - it's a long journey. This whole thing is a long journey. And I just have to keep remembering that.
I'm kind of in a weird state today. Slightly bored and unmotivated. May go on a Valentine's Day walk to Barnes & Noble with The Beau. Seeing as it's after 4pm I should figure out something :)
0 comments | Topics: evalutation, mistakes, progress, travel
Journey Updates
February 6, 2010 @ 10:29 am
When I think about this week, I have competing thoughts. On the one hand, it was kind of a tough week in that I'm not really seeing the results I want to see in either my weight or even my behavior. On the other hand, I feel okay about the overall journey, in spite of its slow-going.
Food
The week started off rough. I didn't drink nearly enough water and was most certainly dehydrated. That was combined with going to some friends' house for dinner. They served a pasta dish that was actually okay health-wise (white pasta, tomatoes, brussel sprouts), but I just ate too much of it, and too much bread, and of course my weakness for wine kicked in. By Monday morning I was up 2 pounds from Saturday. It took Monday and Tuesday to rehydrate, eat right, and drop those 2 pounds again.
Wednesday and Thursday and to a lesser extent last night (Friday), I binged again. Way more than usual. I don't really understand it but before I know it I've eaten a bunch of carb-heavy food for no reason other than being bored. That's gotta stop and it's probably why I'm at a mini plateau here.
This is the first week I've reintroduced Weight Watchers ice cream sandwiches as a treat ... but knowing they're in the freezer makes my brain think about them and last night I had TWO, because I could. My thought is that they are jacking up my blood sugar right at the end of the day, inspiring me to try to keep it up for some reason and triggering my mind to want more carbohydratey food. One sandwich bar as 28 grams of carbs and 11 grams of sugar - geeze! Not going to buy those again, they are clearly a problem for me.
I'm out of wine. I'm not going to buy more of that either, not for a while or unless we have guests. While a glass of wine is healthy and I do really enjoy it, I usually end up having two, not drinking water at night, and the alcohol screws with leptin and makes it easier to overeat. So I'm going to back off the bottle for a while.
Exercise
I
have been going to the gym ever day for over a week. It feels good, I'm changing things up to keep it interesting, and best of all my heart is getting stronger. I have seen a definite drop in my heart rate while exercising. The calories burned is staying roughly the same, and I'm most assuredly keeping my intensity up and pressing harder and harder with greater resistances. But my maximum heart rate has barely crested 180 for about a week, and I've seen much longer times inside the "Zone" for weight loss + cardiovascular training. (In the past, I would routinely crest at a max rate of over 190 - even up to 199).
This is significant for me - in past chapters of this journey I've suspected my heart was getting stronger but I couldn't confirm it over several workouts and several machines (each one is different). Now I can definitely see the trend. Which means something is taking root in this journey, even if I'm not seeing the pound-over-pound weight loss I'd like to. I went for a week+ without strength training, focusing mainly on cardio and eating right. That's all well and good but the fact is I need muscle to burn more calories in the off times; so I'm going to start focusing on strength training more. I did it this week and used a slow-go approach MizFit described on her blog. 10 seconds up, 10 seconds down. It's a different kind of work out - I think I like it.
Results
My weight isn't dropping. I'm at a weird plateau of about 270 and change. I don't like it but there are other things to consider as well. Generally I feel good. I can feel all these minute changes in my body, in my clothes. My belt is on the fourth hole - and it's not cutting into me. That's new. I think my underwear is looser - it rides up a little more easily while working out (I'm sure you want to know that, but hey, it's a change). My heart rate is dropping. I'm taking my supplements every day and after several weeks of ratcheting up the omega 3 I haven't had as many headaches as I was having four weeks ago.
So maybe my weight isn't moving. That will probably change if I can get this high-sugar-binging-at-night thing taken care of. But something I want to start focusing on in my mind and will try to work into some meditation, is that I need to accept the positive aspects of this journey I
am seeing. I'm eating better, cooking my meals, resisting processed foot, not eating out. I'm taking supplements and feeling better. I'm going to the gym every day. My heart. My belt.
Et cetera. I need to learn to be more satisfied with the whole journey and not just my weight. A part of that is probably accepting myself at this weight ... something I've never been able to fathom.
Onwards we go.
2 comments | Topics: evalutation, progress
Journey Updates
January 30, 2010 @ 12:00 pm
This week we had house guests. Normally that's a dicey thing, but one of them was a friend from California (
alma mater) who we get along quite well with. We had a lot of fun. And it was a successful week for him as well (he was here for grad school auditions). And despite having a friend in town which often leads to a variety of dining out or just dining poorly, I still got to cook most meals and eat healthy. Well, for the most part.
I took a few more licenses in the first part of the week than I would have liked. Sunday we had a full day and so I chose to not go to the gym and sort of have a cheat day. But even in my "cheating" I tried to remain faithful to healthy eating and we ended up walking well over 2-3 miles around the city getting from one thing to another. Brunch with friends, then a play written by one of them, then to a bar where I had some nachos but only wine.
Read the rest of this post
0 comments | Topics: evalutation, progress
Journey Updates
January 27, 2010 @ 12:24 pm
Today I weighed in at 299.5 pounds. That's under 300 (yay!) but a half pound up from Sunday morning (boo!). And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed in it. It's fabulous to be under 300 after just a couple of weeks. In the past that used to take a month or more IF I ever got below 300. But I'm skirting the edge, there, and I'm hesitant to take too much pleasure in it without waiting for additional, confirmatory results as they say in science class. At just a half-pound off from the Big Bad 3, I could easily end up back above the mark next week.
What was it, I think to myself. Was it going out for Brunch on Sunday (despite walking in excess of 2 miles all over the place immediately after)? Was it eating that whole personal pizza I made a couple days ago when I should have just half? Was it the 2 (3?) glasses of wine I drank last night? Is my body reacting negatively to the supplements I've been taking (nothing big, either, just omega-3 and some green tea)? Or is it just ... a slow week?
I learned from The Biggest Loser a couple weeks ago that the second week is awful for weight loss. I thought "hrm, really?" and then wham! Here we are with a 1.5lb loss. Yeah, I guess that could be true.
But there are glimmers of hope in today's weigh-in, too. Because I AM below 300. I. Am. Below. 300. Take it, own it, embrace it. A little loss is still a loss. But perhaps more importantly, my body fat percentage was a full 8/10ths of a percent lower than last week. 39.5% - versus 40.3% last week. Now
that's significant! It's a big drop in body fat, bigger than any previous week-to-week change in this journey. Which means, assuming the measurer thingy on my scale isn't just wildly off, that
something is going on inside my body and gearing up for weight loss. Perhaps I did actually lose a good amount of fat this week, but I also gained muscle.
Let's look at it this way. Last week you could say I was lugging around 121.3 pounds of pure, globby, bouncy-castle FAT. This week, I'm lugging around 118.3 pounds of fat. That's actually 3 pounds of fat loss (I'm probably taking some liberties here with the maths and science, but it works for me). I actually feel better about that. It's a full 1% of my body weight. And it means I've gained some muscle.
So I feel good and bad about the weigh-in. But that just goes to show you why you can't rely solely on weight as an indicator of health or progress.
0 comments | Topics: The Biggest Loser, body fat percentage, evalutation, progress
