Weight Loss Goals (By The Numbers)

February 5, 2010 @ 11:40 am

While watching The Biggest Loser recently a couple of the contestants had big number-related goals, like getting below 200 or something. Those kinds of goals are big psychological boons - or if we're crossing them upwards, can be real demotivators. While watching one particular weigh-in The Beau asked if I any particular goal-numbers that I really wanted to reach. I didn't really have an answer.

I've structured my "goals" around the things I want to do some day but either haven't been able to or haven't let myself do because of my weight and obesity. I put those out for all to see because I can't wait to start checking them off one by one as I get more fit. But certain numbers do hold significance for me even if I don't consider them goal weights - more like milestones worth solemnizing, or something. Anyway here are some of the significant weight amounts I've seen over the years:

325ish pounds
My theoretical maximum weight. I don't think I've ever gone above this and frankly, I think I would have to be pretty incapacitated and just give up on life to do so. When I get near this number, I can feel it really weigh me down (no pun intended).

300 pounds
A rough barrier for me. Most of this blogging journey has been spent above 300 - getting below it has been tough, my body's holding onto it for some reason. Even though I'm below it right now, I'm still a little too close for comfort, so I'm not sure I consider this barrier beaten just yet.

280 pounds
This is roughly what my weight was when I moved to New York in April 2005. In the 2.5 or so years after that I put on a good 30+ pounds (stress!). I would love to be at or near this level by the 5 year anniversary (of both my move and my relationship with The Beau) - in a couple of months.

250 pounds
Passing through the 250 level would put me closer to what I was around my Freshman year of college. I never actually weighed myself much back then. But I think this would be a good number to reach by my next family vacation at the end of July - two years after my grandfather's fateful insults words.

230 pounds
In my senior year of high school, I managed to lose 30 pounds and reach around 230, but no, I'm not going back on the binge-and-purge diet.

225 pounds
Until last year I carried a California driver's license and this was the weight printed on it. Total lie. New York doesn't print weights on its licenses but when I ultimately lose a lot of weight, I'm SO getting a new picture.

199 pounds
My theoretical goal weight. My BMI will still be "overweight" at this level (and actually, this is just below "obese"), but by the time I reach this amount, I intend to be doing MUCH more strength training, so at that point I'm probably going to stop caring about BMI entirely. But I don't even remember the last time I was below 200 ... It was probably before high school. Probably well before high school. 

171 pounds
Officially my "ideal weight" according to the BMI. But I don't actually expect to ever get to this level, if for no other reason than I expect to build muscle that will "weigh" me down more.

0 comments | Topics: BMI, The Beau, The Biggest Loser, goals

Some Thoughts on Today's Weigh-In

January 27, 2010 @ 12:24 pm

Today I weighed in at 299.5 pounds.  That's under 300 (yay!) but a half pound up from Sunday morning (boo!). And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed in it.  It's fabulous to be under 300 after just a couple of weeks. In the past that used to take a month or more IF I ever got below 300. But I'm skirting the edge, there, and I'm hesitant to take too much pleasure in it without waiting for additional, confirmatory results as they say in science class.  At just a half-pound off from the Big Bad 3, I could easily end up back above the mark next week.

What was it, I think to myself. Was it going out for Brunch on Sunday (despite walking in excess of 2 miles all over the place immediately after)? Was it eating that whole personal pizza I made a couple days ago when I should have just half? Was it the 2 (3?) glasses of wine I drank last night? Is my body reacting negatively to the supplements I've been taking (nothing big, either, just omega-3 and some green tea)? Or is it just ... a slow week?

I learned from The Biggest Loser a couple weeks ago that the second week is awful for weight loss. I thought "hrm, really?" and then wham! Here we are with a 1.5lb loss. Yeah, I guess that could be true.

But there are glimmers of hope in today's weigh-in, too.  Because I AM below 300. I. Am. Below. 300. Take it, own it, embrace it. A little loss is still a loss. But perhaps more importantly, my body fat percentage was a full 8/10ths of a percent lower than last week. 39.5% - versus 40.3% last week. Now that's significant! It's a big drop in body fat, bigger than any previous week-to-week change in this journey. Which means, assuming the measurer thingy on my scale isn't just wildly off, that something is going on inside my body and gearing up for weight loss. Perhaps I did actually lose a good amount of fat this week, but I also gained muscle.

Let's look at it this way. Last week you could say I was lugging around 121.3 pounds of pure, globby, bouncy-castle FAT. This week, I'm lugging around 118.3 pounds of fat.  That's actually 3 pounds of fat loss (I'm probably taking some liberties here with the maths and science, but it works for me). I actually feel better about that. It's a full 1% of my body weight. And it means I've gained some muscle.

So I feel good and bad about the weigh-in. But that just goes to show you why you can't rely solely on weight as an indicator of health or progress.

0 comments | Topics: The Biggest Loser, body fat percentage, evalutation, progress

The Outside Is a Sign of What's Inside

January 21, 2010 @ 09:56 am

This is the first season I've ever watched The Biggest Loser. I'm not a reality fan and from afar I thought the premise of rapidly losing dozens or a hundred-plus pounds in a couple of months wasn't a good thing. But this season I've picked up on it, and despite the fact they scare the hell out of me, I find the trainers to be really good at what they do; not just with the physics of weight loss, but their ability to get inside the heads of their subjects and help them holistically.

In this week's episode there was a remarkably insightful moment between Jillian the trainer and Migdalia on the green team. The video isn't available yet so here's a quick recap: Migdalia was having a rough time but not talking about it. Jillian was trying to get inside her head. Jillian pressed and pressed and Migdalia played the role of the tough player who doesn't let her emotions show. It got more and more heated, and there was a glimmer of a moment that really resonated hard with me.

It was the moment where after pressuring her charge to embrace her emotions, Jillian asks if she likes herself. Migdalia says no. Jillian asks why. She won't answer. She deflects. She refuses to acknowledge her feelings or figure out what they mean. She wants to do what she's always done - swallow them, hide them, run from them, eat to make them go away.  She ultimately says to Jillian that she's here to change her physical appearance and her health, but she doesn't need to change who she is and how she deals with life.

And that was the moment that clicked for me. It was only a couple seconds long and yet it was like a lightbulb of fireworks going off inside my head.

I said to her (and to myself, out loud, like a crazy person) - what's wrong outside is a sign of what's wrong inside.  My whole life I've kept to myself in a self-defeating cycle of hiding my emotions and eating to deal with them. Facts are that I have a lot of emotional baggage and despite feeling like I'm well-adjusted and able to deal with life's pressures, some of that baggage does still haunt me because I don't think I've ever really addressed it head on. And I should.

I have a feeling that I'll actually succeed, and stop holding onto this weight, only when I deal with it, address it and internalize the forgiveness and release that's required. So that's what I'm going to have to do. Which is kind of a bigger deal than it seems, actually.

I can barely remember half of the things I should probably deal with. I'm so good at suppressing and hiding from the things that have hurt me I feel like I can't remember half my life, maybe more than half my life. I've forgotten many names of people; I've forgotten whole people's existences and don't know who they are despite ample pictures and having spent 5-6 weeks on the road with them (concert group, long story). So I have to spend some good time dredging up the past in my mind, trying to remember and even relive life's less savory experiences, and then address them head-on.

What does that look like today? Many would think its best to confront those that have hurt you. In my case, I have no way to contact most of them and it probably wouldn't do much good anyhow. But I can deal with it personally, I can release the pain I've held onto, and I can forgive. Through a process of remembering, addressing, writing, and meditating I will work through these things. And though I can't mail them all a letter, I can write it, and post it here, and release it once and for all.

So this is something I'm going to work through. I need to deal with the emotional issues that trigger me to retreat from the world and into the kitchen, or else I'll never succeed in getting thin, fit and healthy.

0 comments | Topics: The Biggest Loser, emotional healing

Shame On Nutella

January 20, 2010 @ 02:30 pm

Advertisers have a field day with the TV show, The Biggest Loser. Everybody wants to be healthy, everybody wants to be sexier, so any product that remotely inspires health and wellness wants to be attached to this show somehow. The product placements are one thing - we'll assume that the trainers aren't going to risk their reputations shilling something they think is crap. But what of the advertisements - the old fashioned commercials.  Those are a completely different ball game, and during those two hours on Tuesday, I'm amazed at the bald-faced spin some products are able to manage. For most of them, it's just being smart.

For at least one of them, it's not spin - it's downright misleading if you ask me, and it's products like this, being falsely advertised like this, that has contributed to the obesity epidemic we're facing. Here's the ad.

As a mom, I'm a great believer in Nutella, a delicious hazelnut spread that I use to get my kids to eat healthy foods. I spread a little on all kinds of healthy things like multigrain toast. Every jar has wholesome, quality ingredients, like hazelnuts, skim milk, and a hint of delicious cocoa. And Nutella has no artificial colors or preservatives. It's quick, it's easy, and at breakfast I can use all the help I can get. Nutella. Breakfast never tasted this good.

Here's the thing. Nutella is delicious. It is in no way healthy, and they don't even claim that it is. Here's the nutritional info pop-up. In only two tablespoons you're getting almost 200 calories and a fifth of the fat you should have in a day. And you know that on any given piece of bread a person is likely to slather more than just two tablespoons (I sure did!). What's more ... there are 21 grams of sugars in that two tablespoons.  Any guess how much 21 grams of sugar is equal to? About two tablespoons. The stuff is 100% sugar (more or less).

Look at the ingredients, expertly broken down at obesitypanacea.com. The first ingredient is sugar. The second ingredient is palm oil, which is high in palmitic acid and linked to cardiovascular disease. Half the calories are from sugar, most of the other half are from fat, and only 4% are from protein.

And they want you to think it's a healthy part of a balanced breakfast.

It's ads like this one, strategically placed in the middle of a show about health, that lead people to think clearly unhealthy gunk like Nutella is actually good for them. And so they buy it. And then they do what the commercials says - spread it on healthy things like toast (or sandwiches or vegetables), completely neutralizing any healthfulness of that "healthy thing." It's like scene from The Simpsons when Homer goes on a diet, so Marge gives him rice cakes. Complaining there's no taste, she tells him, "you can put a little something on top for flavor." So he does:


I find some of the crap the Food Industry has laden the American public with is pretty abhorrent. They have little interest in actually promoting healthy eating behaviors. They want you to eat their products. So they capitalize on whatever the current movement it. The Low-Fat crazes that filled us with High Fructose Corn Syrup and poor nutritional quality. The High-Protein crazes that lead to all manner of products. And in shows like Biggest Loser they spin their unhealthy products in ways that are downright misleading.

They've been doing it for decades, and in my opinion it's a major factor in what's gotten our country to where it is.

Nutella ads have been taken off the air elsewhere in the world for this very reason - uproar at their misleading nature. They should be here, too, especially in the middle of a show that is supposed to be inspiring people to better themselves, not dig themselves an early, hazlenut-cocoa slathered grave.

0 comments | Topics: The Biggest Loser, advertising, obesity