My Macy's Nightmare

June 18, 2007 @ 12:44 pm

I need a new shirt this week. Not just any shirt - a button down shirt. And I really need one. So I decided it was off to Macy*s to see about getting one or two.

Important Tip - Just because you're feeling healthier after a couple weeks, doesn't mean its the right time to go by nice fashions. And if you do, you'll quickly be humbled.

Oy - what a nightmare. First off, I go around and fine a number of nice shirts all XXL or XL or so and seem like they'd fit. I even do the hold-it-half-way-round-you-to-see-if-it-might-fit test and they all seem good. I pick up nine or so shirts, all nice, all ones I feel like I could probably fit into. It would be more a matter of what fit best rather than what fit at all. I make it up to the third floor, I step into the Tommy Hilfiger section's dressing room to try on the wares.

Worst. Dressing. Room. Ever. First off, there's not even a hook on which to hang the clothes you're trying on. There's no bench to sit on or set your things on. There's just a small room, a giant mirror, and four ultra-bright ultra hot spotlights creating a sauna out of this little wooden room. And its in that oh-so-pleasant environment I'm supposed to see if I can even fit into any of my candidate shirts.

The heat beating down forces the sweat out my pores. I can't wipe it away fast enough before it again looks like I just stepped out of the shower. And not a single one of my shirts fit. A couple came close - but the buttons nearly popped ... and the fact that they didn't merely exposed flesh from the pulled sections between the buttons. And these were XXL shirts! Or at least that's what was on the label.

So I learned some things tonight. First off, just two weeks in with relatively little work out time does not weight loss make, especially with all the stress I've been under. Secondly, something interesting was that most of the shirts fit around my chest just fine - and in fact would look pretty good. It was the fact that my stomach juts out and around my chest much too far. It's pretty clear that my most recent period of weight gain was concentrated around my stomach, primarily, and hopefully that will be where it falls off first - because boy howdy do I need to fit it some shirts!

Normally - and even tonight - my first reaction is to wallow in my own self-pity. To go down to the Cellar restaurant in Macy*s and order unhealthy comfort food. Thankfully I controlled that urge today and we made it home, where I cooked my partner a hamburger and I had some pan-fried vegetables (in olive oil) and couscous. Now, as much as I'd like to just sit on the couch and look at pretty pictures of hot men, I must drag myself down to the gym. I have a stomach to lose!