The Obese Life
Fatties and the People Who Hate Them
February 3, 2010 @ 10:38 am
I recently posted about a phenomenon of some who are attracted to fat people. I don't really like people being attracted to me because I'm fat. But at the same time, I don't want people to judge me - or any other obese or overweight person - on the basis of this one burden, either. There is a stigma attached to obesity that we cannot escape as long as we are fat. And yet we consistently have to deal with people who hate us because we're fat. But this is an attitude that is pervasive throughout - perhaps even intertwined with - our American culture.The majority of people don't like fat people. To be perfectly honest, I cringe when I see fat people be it on TV or walking down the street. My cringe is a mix of pity, regret, worry, and a sense that our country's in trouble. But I know what being obese is like - I know how hard it is, how much we struggle, and I empathize with my fellow fatties. Others? They don't even bother. For many people being fat is not merely a sign of weakness, it's an opportunity to dehumanize others. To them, we are lazy, incompetent, have nothing worthwhile to offer, are bad role models, and are generally subhuman. At best we are to be ignored, at worst ridiculed or abused. Fat people are denied jobs, denied respect, no matter how good they may be at something.
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is a health nut at age 70. So much so, that:
He does find time, at least twice a week, to slip on a pair of black Lycra stretch pants to do yoga with Landra at their apartment in the Ritz-Carlton. He has an intolerance for fat people, manifested in asides to aides who seem to be getting portly and an office staff that is suspiciously slim.1Former presidential candidate and patriarch of the modern political scandal John Edwards was no fan of his larger constituencies. In his book about his former boss Andrew Young points "portrays Edwards as preening and arrogant, an Atkins dieter who hated making campaign stops at state fairs where 'fat rednecks try to shove food down my face.'" 2
Or take this offensive, misogynistic, judgmental and vapid exchange between Faux News' Neil Cavuto and the bombastic self-described "chubbie-ist" (as in "racist") Michael Karolchyk (who founded an offensive and completely misguided gym in Denver). In it, they're questioning whether the then-nominee for Surgeon General (she now holds the position) was too fat for the job:
It's one thing to have grown up amongst cruel kids who go out of their way to torment anyone who is different. That's considered a rite of passage and though it should be more fervently stopped by parents and teachers, it's always going to happen. It's quite another for people to keep such incivility well into their adult years and allow it to affect their daily decisions or give themselves a pass to judge others only on their weight and not on their qualifications.
Many people vilify the obese as part of their regular day to day world view. Just last night we had a couple friends over to watch the season premier of LOST. The Beau was talking about which one of "The Others" was gay and our friend says "is that the fat ugly old guy?" For him, "fat" is synonymous with "bad," with "less than," with "unworthy" (it's not the first time he's said this kind of thing). He can let it roll off his tongue two feet from me and not think a thing of it. The conversation continued with The Beau and our other friend talking about how "hey, someday we could be old and ugly gay guys too." And fat, I thought to myself. I was a hair's breadth from saying it aloud and not letting the sly slight get away. But I chickened out.
The problem is, fat is not a protected class for discrimination. It's legal to be discriminated against for being fat. Hiring managers admit to it! In Britain, a full 25% of male managers admit to turning down applicants on the sole basis of their being fat. "The most common reasons employers gave? Perceptions that obese people are less energetic, lack self-control or are not hard workers." 3
Former presidential aide, civil rights activist, political strategist, and generally wizened thinker David Mixner is a big guy. And he's got some stuff to say about this:
Amazingly, total strangers feel they have the right to pass judgment on a personal health issue. They have no qualms about saying "You ought to lose weight." People would be appalled if I walked up to an amputee and said, "Do you know you are missing a leg?" Honestly, I am quite aware of my weight and have put on significant amounts during these three years of health crisis. Right now, I am in the process of losing that additional weight.This is a cycle that must be broken. And yet it's as if being fat is the last allowable social stigma. It's the one element of bigotry you can still hold onto and not be judged too harshly yourself. Some people foolishly think that encouraging such bigotry and downright hate will encourage people to lose weight. But it doesn't work that way. We know we're fat. We know better than you what we're up against. Some of us are trying to change it, but some of us have given up thanks to people like Michael Karolchyk and Harry Reid and John Edwards.
Even if I get down to a more reasonable size, I am never going to have Paul Newman's eyes, Hugh Jackmans body nor the endowment of a famous porn star. I am what I am. A person with solid principles, values and beliefs. A kind person who loves unconditionally and has helped, I think, an enormous number of people over the years. The weight has not affected my brain nor any of my principles. I don't think with my tummy. Oh yes, I do have a 'handsome face' and 'beautiful eyes' which I have heard over and over again.
If we're going to solve the obesity issues in this country we need to put away the ridiculous and dangerous cycle of shame that only drives people further into obesity and depression. We need to stop discrimination where ever it lay. And we need to encourage healthy living without judging those who struggle. Otherwise we all fail.
References
1) http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/24/magazine/24reid-t.html
2) http://www.thedailybeast.com/cheat-sheet/item/edwards-aide-previews-tell-all/scandalous/?cid=cs:headline27
3) http://www.theglobeandmail.com/report-on-business/managing/the-skinny-on-weight-discrimination/article1441011/